I'm Broken
by Paranoia-Neon-Angel
Summary: ...She couldn't take it. It was all too much for her to handle... Pairing: SamxOC(Sam WinchesterxSelena Stark)


Here, have another Samlena drabble I wrote a few months ago. I'm actually gonna work on a Story about Sam and Selena, but I just need a good plot line, and I'll need help figuring that out.

Warning: Language, Past Self Harm, Trigger Warning

* * *

"So, tell me again, why you wanted me to come with you?" Selena asked, adjusting her wig, as Sam pulled up to the little food chain. He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I need back up. That's why." He answered, even though he knew Selena wouldn't buy his lie. She rolled her eyes and reached across, pecking his lips.

"Come on, ya big baby. I'll protect you from the scarwy clowns." She said in a baby voice, before laughing and getting out. Sam just shook his head and followed after her. Together, they walked into Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie. They were immediately greeted by screaming kids, the smell of bad food, and clowns. Selena felt Sam tense up beside her and she reached to grab his arm. "Sammy, the clowns are fake. They can't hurt you, now come on." She tightened her grip and walked over to the counter. The man behind looked up when they approached, and he smiled widely.

"Hi! Welcome to Plucky Pennywhistle's! How can I help you?" He asked. Selena reached inside her jacket and pulled out the F.B.I. badge, Sam doing the same.

"I'm Agent Berry and this is my partner, Agent Johnson. We're here to talk to your Manager." She answered, putting away the badge. "If it's not a problem."

"No! Of course, let me go get her." The cashier said, before rushing off to get the manager. Selena looked around the restaurant as they waited. Clowns freaked her out, but not the freak-out-like-Sam type of freak. She noticed something out of the corner of her eye, and turned her head.

Only she froze once she saw what it was. Under a sign that said, _'Conquer your Fear!'_, stood a statue of Joker, looking as intimidating and creepy as the day Selena watched him get shipped off to Arkham. She couldn't tear her eyes away, even as the manager walked up to them.

"Hello, Agents. I'm the shift manager, Jean." She introduced. Selena shook the manager's hand, her eyes still glued to the statue.

"Um, what's that?" Selena asked, pointing at the Joker statue. The manger looked to where Selena was pointing and frowned.

"Oh! My boss put that in, cause a lot of children are kind of fascinated with the Joker. I don't like it though." She explained. Selena finally tore her eyes, looking at the manager nervously.

"W-why's that?" She stuttered, earning a strange look from Sam, which she ignored. The manager sighed.

"I read about what he did, to Selena Stark." She said quietly, leaning forward. "That poor girl didn't deserve that, and I think that's why she went into hiding. I would to, if the Joker had kidnapped me and carved into me."

Selena nodded before reaching into Sam's pocket and pulling out the car keys. "Um, I just remembered I promised Agent Jones that I would interview some families with him." She stuttered before turning and hurrying out the door. She needed to get out of there. That statue scared her, and the woman's explanation upset her. No matter where she went, Joker was there.

'_I'm always going to be in your head, my sweets._' Joker said in her head. Selena flinched but ignored it, and unlocked the car before getting in and driving off.

* * *

The hotel room was quiet, seeing as how it was only her in there. She had long stripped away the blond wig, and the suit, now where one of Sam's plaid button downs and a pair of her old jeans. She fingered at the old scars on her wrists, her hands shaking.

_'Now, don't be like that, Harley. I know you miss me.'_

"Get out of my head." She hissed, glaring at the wall. "You're not real. You're in Arkham!" She told herself quietly.

_'Oh no, I'm with you right now! I'm with you wherever you go, my little Harley!'_ He laughed. Selena covered her ears, hoping to block out his voice. _'Little Harley! You should come back to Arkham! You should let me take care of you!'_ He shouted, his voice echoing in her ears. _'How did it feel to see that statue of me! It was almost like the real thing! Did your heart stop when you saw it? You made a promise to protect your little Sammy but you can't even protect yourself!'_

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screamed, heading in the bathroom. She pulled out two little pills, her anxiety pills, and swallowed them hoping to get rid of the fear Joker was causing her.

"Little Harley."

Selena looked up, and saw Joker's reflection, he was behind her. "Little, sweet, Harley Quinn. How do you sleep at night?" He giggled, making faces at Selena, who shuddered. "Does your moose know how big of a slut you were when you were with me?"

Selena glared at his reflection. "Shut the fuck up." She growled, but Joker smiled wider.

"Does he know, that you were a big slut, begging for me every night? The slut of the Joker!" He cackled.

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Selena screamed, punching the mirror. The glass shattered, cutting into her fist and re-opening some of the old scars. She fell to her knees, crying and hyperventilating.

The door to the hotel room opened and in walked Sam and Dean. "Shit, Lena!" Sam exclaimed, noticing Selena. He rushed over and pulled her into his arms. "Dean, get the first aid kit!" He yelled over his shoulder as he sat Selena on the bed. He took the white towel that Dean handed him and pressed it into Selena's hand to stop the bleeding. He noticed the pale scars along her arm. "Sel, what are these?" He asked, as Dean also noticed them.

"Didn't take you for a cutter, Lena." He joked, trying to lighten the mood. Sam gave him a look that silenced him.

"Sam," Selena began, regaining their attention, "before you came and got me, I was admitted to Arkham Asylum." She confessed. They stared at her shocked. "I was admitted to Arkham...cause I was going insane, and I had killed people. I was insane and I needed to be locked up. I still am...but, soon, Arkham got to be too much, once the treatments started working."

"Why?" Sam asked. Selena wiped her eyes with her free arm but continued.

"Joker's room was right down the hall from mine. Every day he went to his session, he would look in the little window of my door, and just smile at me. I got so tired of seeing and hearing him, that I tried to alternative." She explained, and then gave a pitiful, humorless laugh. "Which is funny, cause through out my life, I've been insulted and hated, and the only thing that's ever made me want to commit suicide, was a dick, whose pleasure was driving me insane." She went on, before let out a wail when Sam pressed her hand a little too hard. He pulled the towel away and grabbed the gauze from the first aid kit that Dean sat beside them.

"Selena, why does he still bother you? In your head." Dean asked. Selena's paused, scared. She had to tell them sooner or later, cause the guilt was getting to be too much.

"He bother's me…because he wants me to go back to Arkham, to be with him." She said, closing her eyes. She waited for a response, but was answered with silence. She opened her eyes to find them gaping at her.

"W-what? Why?" Sam stuttered out. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"When I was in Harley's mind…I did…things…with Joker. That's why he won't leave me alone." She explained. "I almost lost my virginity to the Joker, and I was a slut, for him."

Silence filled the air, none of them saying a word. Sam broke it by pulling away and walking out the door, slamming it shut behind him. Selena immediately reached for Dean, new tears breaking free. Dean wrapped his arms around her, shushing her.

"This is why I kept it a secret! Because y'all would think of me as the Harlot Harley Quinn Joker made me out to be!" She sobbed, her voice muffled. Dean, who felt scared for her, just continued holding her close and shushing her.

* * *

Selena stared at the lake. She felt numb. Her boyfriend was pissed beyond hell, her dad was missing and possibly dead, and now she was finally realizing that she was becoming the slut Joker made her out to be. Well, it was all over for her now.

"My life is shit." She muttered, before glaring up at the dark sky. "YOU HEAR THAT, YOU JACKASS! YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANT! YOU RUINED MY FUCKING LIFE! YOU AND ALL THOSE DAMN LEVIATHANS!"

Her voice echoed around the lake, scaring some animals away. Selena felt to her knees, as tears began running free. She wanted to die. Before Dean and Sam rescued her, her life was slowly starting to get better. Now, she wanted nothing more than to end her life before she gave in became the harlot Joker wanted her to be.

...She could. Selena reached into her pocket and pulled out the little knife, opening it. She stared at the sharp blade, and smiled. She could end it; end her life, before she suffered any more pain. She rolled back the sleeve of her shirt, looking at the old scars. There was one un-scarred place on her wrist. The point where her wrist met her hand, the big vein. She took a deep breath then lowered the blade to her wrist. I'm so, sorry Sam."

Before she could even make a cut, a strong hand grabbed her by the wrist. Another hand pulled the knife away.

"NO!" Selena screamed, thrashing against the strong grip, Sam's strong grip, "LET ME DIE! I DON'T WANNA LIVE, LET ME DIE!"

Sam wouldn't let her go. He threw the new somewhere in the distance, and made Selena look up her him. "No!" He said firmly. "I will NOT let you do that, Selena Harleen Stark!"

Selena's eyes widened at when Sam used her full name. "I-I don't wanna live Sam." She cried. Sam just pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. "I-I'm a horrible person. I lied to you, and I let the Joker use my body to his pleasure, and I let him carve into my life I didn't give a fuck!"

"Shut up, Selena!" Sam growled. He pulled away and narrowed his eyes at her. "You are not a horrible person! You didn't lie to me. You were scared, and it's okay!" He hissed. "You weren't even awake in your mind when he did that to you! Please, just, let me take care of you." His voice grew soft. "Let me heal you, and take care of you, baby."

Selena wrapped her arms around Sam, burying her face in his neck. "Fix me, Sam. I don't wanna be broken anymore." She cried. Sam kissed her head.

"I'll fix you, baby. I'll fix you till you can't be broken anymore." He promised.

* * *

I hope y'all liked it! I accept small flames!

R&R Please!

Katy


End file.
